Perhaps seven-year-old me was right to fear this word after all.īecca and I met during my gap year between high school and college and her gap year between college and graduate school. Something about fitting a stereotype and wanting a man. Somehow, having a boyfriend as a woman makes me feel lesser. But at the same time, in romantic relationships, I cringe at the idea of naming myself a girlfriend with a boyfriend. Looking back, I’m amused that I thought this was a curse word. Was a girlfriend such a bad thing that there was no other word for it? Then, I right-clicked the word and in the drop-down menu, I moved my cursor over to the Synonyms tab. With my little heart racing, I quickly typed out “girlfriend,” clacking the keyboard with my two index fingers. I was intent on uncovering the mystery of these words. One day, I sat in front of a blank Word document on my family’s desktop, the vertical line blinking the seconds. I would blush and feel defensive, knowing there was something zesty in their question, but unsure what. My parents would tease me by asking if I had a “boyfriend” or whisper-hypothesize about my brother’s “girlfriend,” all while smirking in that confident, older-than-you way. When I was seven years old, I thought “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” were bad (but also mysterious) words. Without the legal recognition that spouses and family have, Big Friendships-and their loss-are not seen to be as important. Those around her, witnessing her grief, did not react to the death of her best friend the way they would have to a family member or a romantic partner-who traditionally, through marriage, transitions into a family member. Goosebumps spotted my arms as I read her heartbreak. In the article, one woman describes her experience of losing her best friend to suicide.

These pairs create new names for themselves-best soul friends, platonic life partners, Big Friendship. Some of these best friend pairs marry each other, using the societal importance of marriage to symbolize their lifelong platonic love and promise to each other. During my sophomore fall of college, a lonely semester endured online, Rhaina Cohen published an article titled, “ What if Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?” In it, she explores relationships between best friends who prioritize their commitment to each other over romantic or sexual partners.

Big friendship